Ten Years Younger

I was talking to a friend in the kitchen and my son shouted in really loudly from the other room, a frequent occurence, "MUM, TEN YEARS YOUNGER 'S ONNNN" ..

I was like "What? I don't watch that rubbish, I'd rather drink Polonium 210 " .. cough cough .. knowing full well .... it reminded me of the old Billy Connolly coat on the bed in the tenements joke

"What coat on the bed?!I can assure you Father that there are no coats on the bed in this house. You'll find all our coats in the closet".

Billy Connolly's mum in awe of the Priest who was visiting for 'a cup of tea Father' as was the custom in those days. My brother and I used to fight over the big smelly old dad coat on our bed so I always loved that joke.

My son had been innocently reminding me that one of 'my' programmes was ON ... for the main part he monopolises the tv but knows that about 8ish I want to start to relax and he sweetly puts those little reminder tags on the things I like ... the rude awakening was that MY programmes seem to be all of one ilk these days ..

Ten Years Younger, Gillian McKeith, Wife Swap, Fat Club, indeed anything about fat people getting thinner, thinner people getting better jobs, people having things sliced off and pumped out . . .

(perhaps we could all have some sort of giant worldwide bring and buy sale and swap all our body parts ... surgeons in booths at £50 a go .. 10% of all sales goes to the school ... bagsie Joss Stone's legs) .. anyway to continue ..

Location Location Location, A Place in the Sun ... it's all a bit worrying ... they are all about change it would seem.

Curious .. as I have no desire to be younger because being older is a much cosier place to be or indeed want a different location ... (although the viewing figures for location programmes are probably quite high in Swindon  . . .) but possibly I do seek change in a subliminal way.

I criticise the bullying Gillian McKeith, have a pessimistic view on most of the locations, feel comfortably detached from Wife Swap and superior at Supernanny. So what do I get out of it ... self-glorification maybe ... that's just ugly .... I am going to try and disentangle myself from these addictive programmes and seek my jollies from other televisuals .. I don't think I'm quite ready for the Discovery Channel just yet but maybe there's some middle ground ... there's just aren't enough Mike Leighs for my liking ...

"MUUUMMM, THE CULTURE SHOW 'S ON" ... "I'll be right there ....

Nick Cave's on it tonight by the way.